Numb

Ever had the feeling of doing something over and over and over again thinking it would make you happy?

It does. For a while.

Then you get so used to it that you need to find something else that can give you the same feeling, or more perhaps.

I’m having this problem now, but I don’t know what else I can do to entertain myself.

Maybe I should go out with friends more? If I had that many who are willing. Nah, too much work.

Or maybe I should find new friends? Nah, I don’t like being around many people in general. Takes the life out of me.

Or or maybe I should consider finding a new hobby? I’ve been reading all this while now, and maybe I could use some change before coming back to what I’m more confident in.

I’ve always wanted to learn boxing. Maybe I should try it out.

Then again, I realize that I do plenty of crazy stuff already. But why am I in need for more things to do? I guess I’m not very satisfied with whatever I’ve accomplished, so by the act of doing more stuff I’d feel ‘adequate’. Or maybe it’s just that I don’t feel adequate at all that I have to do stuff to give meaning to my life. I mean, what defines your life is mostly the things you do right? Your actions. The ones you do, and the don’t. So surely I’m doing it right, right?

Maybe not.

I’m learning new things everyday and I like that. Keeps me challenged and keeps me moving. I think as humans we don’t ever stop, and should ever stop improving ourselves because then we will lose opportunities to make most out of our already arbitrary lives. Learning is forever.

But wait. What if one gets bored from learning? What if one is able to learn everything that he can possibly learn?
I’ve heard that learning can be boring, but what I mean is what if one has learned so much that it just becomes a system of bore. If this really happens, which I don’t think will, I would create things to learn. Human life is finite, but the experience it warrants is an infinite one. Having a millions of permutations of possibilities there’s just so much to learn before getting bored – and it’s methods must also be dynamic enough to sustain interest. Probably if one gets bored from learning too much, is because one has been doing the same thing over and over again, in hopes of learning something new.

That’s ridiculous.

To learn something new, I believe the methods and processes that go along with it must change. The transition may be tedious, but by understanding its complexity, not for change’s sake but in hopes of discovery should be the primary the goal of this transformation of the learning pedagogy. There’s just so much learn, and likewise, there will be many ways to do so.

It’s no surprise that we are subjected to a reality that is presented to us, and then accept it thinking that any change would ruin the ‘system’ in place. Societal norms are not a concept but a way of life for most people. There’s this fear I sense, that if they don’t conform some part of them is lost in the system. But the only system I see is the one in our minds. Anything conceived in reality, is the by product of intelligent design by the human mind. Hence, we should not be conceded to believe any one true method, process, or sequence that augments our boredom because we are intelligent to manifest something truly beautiful and extraordinary if we wanted to.

I digress.

First comes boredom then fear, and it is this fear that will compel our very hearts and minds to do what society influences us to do, because fear controls us. Whatever our real motivations are, they may have been numbed by the expectations of… I digress.

Eventually, we start doing this over and over and over again, until we get numb. Again.

Think about it.

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2 responses to “Numb

  1. Pingback: I Adequate | I Adequate·

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